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Four reasons why Miami (OH) is better than you

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  • Four reasons why Miami (OH) is better than you

    Straight from the horse's ass. Mouth, I mean; horse's mouth.

    http://www.miamistudent.net/opinion/...tion-1.2663465

    CliffsNotes: They're prettier, they're smarter, they work harder, and--despite stating these "facts" explicitly--they're less ostentatious.

    As someone who went to a school with some pretty primo douchebaggery, my hat is off to Mr. Brad Kent. This is big-league talent right here.
    "I believe that, so long as there is plenty, poverty is evil." --RFK

  • #2
    "First of all, we are pretty people. The attractiveness of our student body as a whole is immeasurable. When compared to students from other universities, there is no comparison. Our girls are more beautiful, our gentlemen are better looking and all around we look more aesthetically pleasing. In a world that admits it gives preference to pretty people, Miami students will have a leg up over the competition. If this weekend is any indication of the student body at schools like Harvard, University of Virginia, New York University and more, the future is bright for Miami students."

    Ooookay. Having nightmares about high school.

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    • #3
      As a Miami alumni I am very embarrassed by this. Ughh, hopefully people will understand that we don't ALL view ourselves this way.
      Minnesota Mock, doing it right since 1987

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      • #4
        Observation. Team 992 Miami OH hit the following teams, NYU 564, UVA 973, Harvard 796, and Tufts 844.

        These were the cream of the crop according to US News and World Report rankings: Harvard University, University of Virginia, New York University, Duke University, Loyola University, Tufts University and others. The advantages that we hold over these schools are as follows.
        They went 3-5
        Josh Peterson
        Hamline University Alum

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        • #5
          Hi Everyone. As many of you know, I do not post nor do I permit my team members to post to perjuries. But, unfortunately, I should also ban them from posting to any forum! I apologize for the jack-ass column a member of the Miami Mock Trial Program published in the Miami Student, our campus newspaper. It is going somewhat viral and, if it is any consolation, he is being roasted on Miami blogs by Miami students. It apparently was "supposed" to be sarcastic, but I failed to see the sarcasm in it when I read it just fifteen minutes ago. His views are not the views of our program or our university. And, I personally apologize for his comments. Even in jest, they are entirely unacceptable.

          Professor Dan Herron
          Director, Miami University Mock Trial Program

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          • #6
            In the "for what it's worth" category: I have all the world's respect for Dan and his RedHawks. Rounds against guys like Nick Borger, Guz Lazares and Alex Bluebond were hard-fought during, and friendly and cordial after. When I came across this article, I was amused by the incongruity between the picture it painted of Miami and the reality I saw through four years of competition. If the author of that article is associated with Dan's program, I'm sure he's actually a good guy who made an unfortunate mistake.

            But man is that mistake funny. And it's on the Internet.
            "I believe that, so long as there is plenty, poverty is evil." --RFK

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            • #7
              Thanks for the laugh Paul =).

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Dan Herron View Post
                Hi Everyone. As many of you know, I do not post nor do I permit my team members to post to perjuries. But, unfortunately, I should also ban them from posting to any forum! I apologize for the jack-ass column a member of the Miami Mock Trial Program published in the Miami Student, our campus newspaper. It is going somewhat viral and, if it is any consolation, he is being roasted on Miami blogs by Miami students. It apparently was "supposed" to be sarcastic, but I failed to see the sarcasm in it when I read it just fifteen minutes ago. His views are not the views of our program or our university. And, I personally apologize for his comments. Even in jest, they are entirely unacceptable.

                Professor Dan Herron
                Director, Miami University Mock Trial Program
                cool bro

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