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0-6 Strategies

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  • 0-6 Strategies

    I am surprised that I haven't found a thread for these already here. Perhaps I'm not looking hard enough.

    Anyway, I'm sure teams have come up with great ones, regardless of whether or not they actually implement them.

    Seeing how many times you can get away with saying "meow" surreptitiously on a cross.
    Having a witness completely ignore a cross question and scream "You can't handle the truth!"

    Case specific ones are also encouraged. What have you got?

  • #2
    My defense theme would be something like "Drunk, dumb, and dead. That's Vanessa Sullivan for you."

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    • #3
      Defense pleads guilty
      Jordan James will be famous soon enough

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      • #4
        I hate to be a fun sucker but I would do everything in my power to not be 0-8. Never have really been a fan of quitters. And you seem to be looking for quitter strategies.
        Josh Peterson
        Hamline University Alum

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Lancer View Post
          I hate to be a fun sucker but I would do everything in my power to not be 0-8. Never have really been a fan of quitters. And you seem to be looking for quitter strategies.
          Oh God I know. Especially this one:

          Defense pleads guilty
          Jordan James would suggest that, wouldn't he?

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          • #6
            To set the scene:

            (Taylor Hopson has just finished direct examination. She is emotional and, while no longer crying, is still a little choked-up and sniffling. The Crossing Attorney stands up, cleans his glasses, buttons his coat, and says: )

            XA: Cross examination, your honor?

            (The judge nods. Gracefully, the crossing attorney walks to the center of the well. He removes his glasses and says in a consoling manner: )

            XA: Good afternoon, Miss Hopson. My name is Dwight Shrute, and I'm going to be asking you a few questions today.

            (Taylor Hopson looks up, a little confused, but at the same time, reassured at the warm smile of the attorney, Dwight Shrute. The attorney puts on his glasses and pauses for a moment, staring reflectively at the ground, consolidating his focus. Finally, he says: )

            Dwight: VANESSA SULLIVAN IS DEAD! SHE'S DEAD! SHE'S DEAD, ISN'T SHE?! VANESSA SULLIVAN IS DEAD, AND SHE'S NEVER COMING BACK! SHE'S DEAD! VANESSA SULLIVAN IS DEAD, AND IT'S YOUR FAULT! IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT! SHE'S DEAD, ISN'T SHE!? AND IT'S YOUR FAULT!

            (Dwight pauses for a moment, smiling to himself before saying: )

            Fact: Taylor Hopson is a cry-baby. No further questions.
            Last edited by Roger_Wilco; November 14th, 2011, 05:47 PM. Reason: meant to have ": )" instead of ":)"

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            • #7
              A blind Danny Dawson would be an interesting idea...

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              • #8
                My team has what we like to call the "witch defense".
                In this defense, the Defense alleges that Vanessa Sullivan was a witch and that Danny was simply doing his job as a good witch hunter. Common questions during cross include
                Goody Hopson, you are Vanessa's familiar, aren't you?
                The reason you can't remember certain portions of the night was because you transformed into your cat form that night, correct?
                Vanessa weighed the same as a duck, isn't that true?
                Vanessa was working her dark craft on Danny that night, wasn't she?

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                • #9
                  Originally posted by Lancer View Post
                  I hate to be a fun sucker but I would do everything in my power to not be 0-8. Never have really been a fan of quitters. And you seem to be looking for quitter strategies.
                  I'm inclined to agree. If my team was 0-6 at a tournament we'd need the last round for practice anyways. Purposefully throwing a round is disrespectful to the judges who volunteer their time and to the other team who will get blind sided. These types of "strategies" belong i in a "silly" scrimmage, not at a tournament.

                  That being said, these are pretty funny, might steal some for our traditional January scrimmage.
                  Nathanael Smith
                  Macalester College
                  MacalesterMockTrial.org

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                  • #10
                    my team does not go 0-6

                    how could you be THAT bad at mock trial

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                    • #11
                      Originally posted by fearthewalken View Post
                      I am surprised that I haven't found a thread for these already here. Perhaps I'm not looking hard enough.
                      Indeed. I quickly found two, and vaguely recall at least one other from the not-too-distant past. You might check the Perjuries archives to find such material. And remember that, Google and similar tools notwithstanding, "looking hard" is pretty much a requirement for a successful attorney, IMHO.

                      On the topic you've (re)started... I'll simply say (again) that, as a tournament host who busts my backside drumming up qualified VOLUNTEERS for our Regional, I will be less than cordial toward any team that decides to treat a trial round less than seriously. I understand the attraction of this sort of "wouldn't it be fun" discussion. But please don't ever try it in a competition, certainly not while I'm anywhere around.
                      "Better to make a life than a living."
                      -William Eustis Russell

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                      • #12
                        Use this as a demonstrative while directing a Defense London Bennett.
                        0-6.jpg

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                        • #13
                          Our team jokes about these ideas all the time but I doubt we could ever carry them out. Honestly some of these 0-6 strategies are better than some SERIOUS material I have seen from some teams (Genocide theme? really?), and once I saw a team win on an 0-6 strategy which was hilarious.

                          Our theme for our 0-6 strategy last year was "Shit happens, and on August 8th 2009, shit happened to Joey Davis. I stubbed my toe yesterday and you don't see me suing anybody over it..."

                          We play something called Mock Games you could do if you are 0-6 and allot points to certain things that happen inside/outside trial-- making a (non-crying) witness cry, scoring 10's on the ballots, ranking, and points for seamlessly throwing in lines from songs in their directs and crosses. You lose points for stuff too, losing objections etc. But we do this even when we aren't 0-6. Example: ORCS last year our Quinn said on cross "When the roof caved in and the truth came out I just didn't know what to do."

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                          • #14
                            While we never implemented it, for last years case we had the "Joey Davis is imaginary" def ready to go.
                            E -S- M

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by mt swag View Post
                              my team does not go 0-6

                              how could you be THAT bad at mock trial
                              Its called judges with a judging problem...

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